Harry Who?

There is much excitement and buzz around the new Harry Potter movie. I still don’t know who Harry Potter is therefore I can say with confidence I am not a Harry Potter Geek.

            Im rather clueless when it comes to Harry’s life. I have no idea that his parents were killed by Lord Voldemort when Harry was a baby and is the one who zapped Voldemorts power. I don’t know that is how Harry got his scar.

            Look, I have no idea about his two side kicks Hermione Granger or Ron Weasley.  Who really knows that Hermione’s parents are muggles, or that Ron’s father works for the Ministry of Magic?

            What is this Hogwarts? What person in their right mind knows that it is a school for wizards whose headmaster is Dumbledore? Does anybody really know who Hagrid is, or that he loves animals and cries a lot? Not me.

            I don’t know a thing about basilisk, whomping willows, flying cars, horcruxes, platform 9 and ¾, triwizard tournament, Dolores Umbridge, Death Eaters, Quidditch, Professor Snape, Malfoy, or Hogsmeade.

            As you can see I have no clue what this Harry Potter is about, but I guess I’ll go see the movie with pooh. Maybe I’ll learn something then.

Pug, Grass, and Men in Black.

I really need to cut the grass but it’s so hot today and tomorrow is going to be even hotter. Im actually sweating just looking out the window in my air conditioned office.  Does it really matter if I cut it today or tomorrow or even the next day? I can cut my grass anytime I feel its time, as long as it stays under 12 inches.

            Why 12 inches you ask? Good question. Here’s your answer. Chesterfield County said so! Yep you got it. If you let your grass grow over 12 inches in the county and live on less then one half of an acre, you can be slapped with a $100 fine, but wait there’s more! With your brand new fine the county will include just for you an extra $35 administrative fee! Plus if you don’t cut now, you get this fine hand delivered!

            I wonder how that would go down. I can see myself at the dinner table with Pooh and the Bean when the door bell rings. I grudgingly excuse myself from my plate of filet mignon and main lobster tail, better know as Salisbury steak and left over tuna from lunch, and head towards the door.

            Even before I grab the handle I have already gone over all the excuses in my head. Yes I know Jesus loves me, no Im sorry, Im fat and don’t need ten boxes of Girl Scout cookies (Yes I would buy that many boxes!), and finally, for the love of God man Im eating left over tuna from my lunch for dinner! Do you really think I can afford new windows and doors?

            Imagine my surprise when it wouldn’t be any of these disrupting my dinner, but instead it would be a man dressed in all black with dark sunglasses.

           

            “Are you Mr. Barth?” County man would ask.

            “Yes and who might you be?” I would reply.

            “Im with the Chesterfield County Administration Office. Are you the primary resident?”

            “Um…yes.”

            “This is for you.”

            “Yay, what did I win?”

            “A fine.”

            “A fine…china set? No, a fine 51 inch LCD TV!”

            “Your grass is over twelve inches. Twelve and one quarter inch over to be exact sir.”

            “What? I received a fine for my grass, are you kidding me?”

            “No sir, it’s dangerous. Too dangerous. It’s tall enough to harbor dangerous animals.”

            “I live in the county! What kind of dangerous animal could get in my fenced  yard?”

            “Do I hear snorting? You don’t have a pig in your backyard there do you sir?”

            “No, it’s my pug.”

            “You have dog’s sir?”

            “Well I did, I do, I mean Im not sure.”

            “Sir?”

            “I let her out two days ago and she hasn’t been able to find her way back to the deck. Not yet.”

            “Grass too high sir?”

            “Yea, by a quarter inch I guess.”

            “Please cut your grass sir.”

            I guess I should cut the grass. It is rather tall, besides I really miss the pug and after two days of being lost in the back yard Im sure she is pretty hungry. 

The Bet

Wow, I can’t believe that it’s been over three months since my last post. Neither can Pooh, nor is she happy about it. Yea, I know its crazy but right now Im working on two books at the same time, kind of. Counter productive, unwise, foolish, I know. Unfortunately once the ideas hit your mind sometimes they fight and scream and claw at your brain trying to get out. They can consume your thoughts and steal your mind.

            I haven’t worked on anything really in months. All writers know this art is extremely difficult by itself, but add work, family, and plain old life it becomes harder to get anything done.

             Excuses? You bet.

            Justified excuses? Hell yea.

            When I have to be at work at 4:30 a.m. and work a twelve hour day the last thing my brain wants to do is sit at a computer and write. With the heat, long nights and the Bean, sometimes I need a break. When I come home from work I spend time with my son. By the time he goes to bed I only have a few hours before it’s my bed time and im a sleeper. I know some people that can sleep for four hours, get up, and start their day. Not me. I need at least eight hours and sometimes Im still exhausted. Many times I wish I was one of those who needed minimal sleep.  Feel sorry for me yet? Don’t, it’s my own fault. Im the one that got me here and, well, to be honest pooh doesn’t feel sorry for me either, hence the bet.

            This is how this whole bet thing started. I came at her this past Friday with another story idea. As is the usual form I came in the house and just start rattling my thoughts off at her. I work alone for the most part and travel a lot. Some days I can drive over three hundred miles to meet with clients. She patiently listened and then asked me about the two books I was working and the blog. I said I have dabbled here and there but just haven’t had the time to invest in any of them. Her eyebrow immediately rose up like it always does when she disagrees with something I have said or thinks im bending the truth just a little. Trust me I have seen that a lot in my days.

            “Write on your blog, anything, no matter what the topic is. It doesn’t have to be long or make any sense, just write. Use this as a tool to force you into a habit.”

             “Ok, ok I will.”

             Her eyebrow defied gravity yet again.   

            “No, really Pooh, I will, starting Sunday.” I told her that I would post everyday for one month, no excuses. She rolled her eyes and calmly stated she doubted I would do it simply because I haven’t posted but once in three months.

             Let me interject here and state that my wife has lived with me and my writing dreams for eleven years. She has listened to every idea and read every rough draft. She has watched me work for months, and also patiently stood by as I avoided my work for months. She believes in me more then I believe in myself most of the time. She constantly screams and yells at me with out saying a word, and is quick to motivate me before I hit bottom. I am determined to prove her wrong.

            Now what does the winner get? If I complete the task, I get the satisfaction of giving these ideas life. I get the ability to share thoughts and if im lucky give some people a good read, make them think. If she wins, does she really win anything?  Not really. If I fail to blog every day, then I am left living a day knowing that I have once again let my wife down.  

            Can I do it?

            Of course I can.

            Will I do it?

             I don’t have a choice now.